He is kind, funny, smart, athletic, has great manners and is quite handsome. I read some, asked advice some along the last 13 years, but pretty much "wing it." I do it though with the upmost of love for him, and mostly level head, and the innate need to get it right and make his life wonderful. My intent is to share details, success and some not-so-successes for those who wonder how the heck they're going to do it.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Child Support
One of the MOST FUN things one gets to do as a single parent is deal with the other parent. Many have perfectly amicable relationships set up with baby mama or baby daddy, but unfortunately many do not.
What I actually am doing is solo parenting, as my child's father is pretty much not participating. That's his choice and definitely his loss, because my son is quite an awesome human to know and be around. He does NOT however have any choice in paying child support. He has skipped town to try to avoid and had a few paid under the table jobs.
Your child and you deserve this money. You probably already know that raising a child is expensive. How much would an extra few hundred plus help per month?
Regardless of weather you have gone through courts to establish visitation or lack there of, paternity etc. and weather you have a lawyer or not, you can still have payments enforced. It's free and an irritating process and it takes a while but the extra money is worth it.
PLEASE ALSO NOTE - that if you child's other parent is unfit, requiring them to pay support does not mean the state will give them visitation. The two are unrelated.
This is the link for the state of Florida:
http://dor.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/
Each state has their own website. Merely do a Google search for your state and the words "child support enforcement." If you don't have a computer, go use one for free at a library.
Each state also has phone numbers to call for assistance in completing applications if you need help. Heck, email me if you need help, I am happy to do so!
If they don't have a job, or one that pays them under the table, the amount unpaid continues to add up and after a certain amount, their driver's license gets revoked, and a warrant is issued for their arrest. My child's father was arrested twice, had his license revoked, got his auto insurance cancelled and the company he worked for who paid him under the table got into trouble. I don't play.
What I actually am doing is solo parenting, as my child's father is pretty much not participating. That's his choice and definitely his loss, because my son is quite an awesome human to know and be around. He does NOT however have any choice in paying child support. He has skipped town to try to avoid and had a few paid under the table jobs.
Your child and you deserve this money. You probably already know that raising a child is expensive. How much would an extra few hundred plus help per month?
Regardless of weather you have gone through courts to establish visitation or lack there of, paternity etc. and weather you have a lawyer or not, you can still have payments enforced. It's free and an irritating process and it takes a while but the extra money is worth it.
PLEASE ALSO NOTE - that if you child's other parent is unfit, requiring them to pay support does not mean the state will give them visitation. The two are unrelated.
This is the link for the state of Florida:
http://dor.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/
Each state has their own website. Merely do a Google search for your state and the words "child support enforcement." If you don't have a computer, go use one for free at a library.
Each state also has phone numbers to call for assistance in completing applications if you need help. Heck, email me if you need help, I am happy to do so!
If they don't have a job, or one that pays them under the table, the amount unpaid continues to add up and after a certain amount, their driver's license gets revoked, and a warrant is issued for their arrest. My child's father was arrested twice, had his license revoked, got his auto insurance cancelled and the company he worked for who paid him under the table got into trouble. I don't play.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Teens and their expensive brand name clothes
It's no surprise that teenagers want to be dressed in the coolest brands, and the latest styles. Weather you agree with it or not, a teenager is cooler, if he or she does. Unfortunately, the name brands usually mean spending a lot of money, and if your teen grow fast like mine does, you need new clothes every season.
Last year we discovers Plato's Closet. It is a consignment shop that caters to teens, girls and boys. All the latest brands are there, Hollister, Aeropostle, Abercrombie and Fitch and the like.
Everything is gently used and in very good condition, with no tears or stains, and best of all, everything is at a 3rd of the cost.
It looks like they are available in most states:
http://www.platoscloset.com/locations#us
Last year we discovers Plato's Closet. It is a consignment shop that caters to teens, girls and boys. All the latest brands are there, Hollister, Aeropostle, Abercrombie and Fitch and the like.
Everything is gently used and in very good condition, with no tears or stains, and best of all, everything is at a 3rd of the cost.
It looks like they are available in most states:
http://www.platoscloset.com/locations#us
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Activities and hobbies are great for your kids in many ways.
Keep your kids in activities!
Here's a short list:
Chess club
Football, baseball, soccer, basketball
Tennis, golf
Chorus
Swimming
Dance
Gymnastics
Piano or other instrument
Acting in a school theatrical production
Do know too that might not like everything. Once you get them into something and they don't like it, it's ok to stop and then try something else. If they're on a team that needs them, they should play out the season, but then they can try a different sport or something different altogether next time. Also, you may think your child should be in sports, but they may love and excel at singing. Or vice versa. Let them find their voice (pun intended).
Through activities and hobbies they will also make new friends, learn sportsmanship, teamwork, how to handle wins and defeats, and of course can keep them active and healthy. These are all things that can prepare them for the real world and grown up life.
And, if they work out all their physical energy doing these things, they will be better behaved and even sleep better.
Getting better skilled at various things will also increase their self esteem. They become more social and engaging and become more likable people. Those who let their kids stay inside all day watching tv or playing video games aren't doing them any favors. They'll be socially awkward, not even slightly athletic and be introverted and lack confidence.
Many cities have programs for sports and other activities that are free, or can be free by completing an application. YMCAs also have many events, teams, and lessons and they make membership pricing income based so anyone can afford it. Most schools also have chorus, chess club, band, plays many other activities that are not only free, but will be done after school but before you pick them up, if you happen to be 9-5ish.
To make things easier too, you can also team up with another parent to share rides if you have to work late, or can't go every practice for another reason. If you do go to all or most practices, make wise use of that time. When my son played football for the community athletic association, he'd have practices 4 nights a week for 2.5 hours each. This is a lot, but I would bring work to complete, call and take care of personal business, and I'd even bring gym pants and shoes and walk around the complex and get exercise while he practiced.
Be a team mom or coach, play costume designer, if you have the time and skill. Your kids will always remember that you were involved.
Here's a short list:
Chess club
Football, baseball, soccer, basketball
Tennis, golf
Chorus
Swimming
Dance
Gymnastics
Piano or other instrument
Acting in a school theatrical production
Do know too that might not like everything. Once you get them into something and they don't like it, it's ok to stop and then try something else. If they're on a team that needs them, they should play out the season, but then they can try a different sport or something different altogether next time. Also, you may think your child should be in sports, but they may love and excel at singing. Or vice versa. Let them find their voice (pun intended).
Through activities and hobbies they will also make new friends, learn sportsmanship, teamwork, how to handle wins and defeats, and of course can keep them active and healthy. These are all things that can prepare them for the real world and grown up life.
And, if they work out all their physical energy doing these things, they will be better behaved and even sleep better.
Getting better skilled at various things will also increase their self esteem. They become more social and engaging and become more likable people. Those who let their kids stay inside all day watching tv or playing video games aren't doing them any favors. They'll be socially awkward, not even slightly athletic and be introverted and lack confidence.
Many cities have programs for sports and other activities that are free, or can be free by completing an application. YMCAs also have many events, teams, and lessons and they make membership pricing income based so anyone can afford it. Most schools also have chorus, chess club, band, plays many other activities that are not only free, but will be done after school but before you pick them up, if you happen to be 9-5ish.
To make things easier too, you can also team up with another parent to share rides if you have to work late, or can't go every practice for another reason. If you do go to all or most practices, make wise use of that time. When my son played football for the community athletic association, he'd have practices 4 nights a week for 2.5 hours each. This is a lot, but I would bring work to complete, call and take care of personal business, and I'd even bring gym pants and shoes and walk around the complex and get exercise while he practiced.
Be a team mom or coach, play costume designer, if you have the time and skill. Your kids will always remember that you were involved.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Give your child your undivided attention
Try to give your child undivided attention when you can. Your favorite TV show is not as important, the Facebook notifications can wait, and you can call your friend back later. Stop what you are doing, play their game with them and give them YOU. I used to pick up my son from after school care at the school. The children would get called, then walk up the small set of stairs to his waiting parent, then they both would go out the door behind them to their car. I used to watch this mom every day on the phone as her child approached, and they were seeing each other for the first time since early that morning. She would still be on the phone, he would look at her, then she would turn around and walk away, not speaking a word to him, him following her looking dejected. He wanted to share what cool thing happened that day, or get a big hug. Nope, she couldn't get off her call.
If your child gets some you time without distractions regularly, then he won't have to act out and use bad behavior as an attention getting mechanism.
Plus, they deserve it. :)
If your child gets some you time without distractions regularly, then he won't have to act out and use bad behavior as an attention getting mechanism.
Plus, they deserve it. :)
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